"The Sports Guy" Hilarious Moment of the Week

This is from Sports Guy's Mailbag Today:

Q: I was telling my girlfriend about the Manny-Sox dynamic and the potential for a Dodgers/Red Sox World Series and she mentioned that in "A League of Their Own" the team traded the cranky younger sister because of the stressful clubhouse dynamic, and that the rival team ultimately prevailed because of this. I thought, "My God, I must tell Simmons." Please tell me this isn't an applicable analogy, or some way we can stop it.
-- Joe the Guy, Boston

SG: We can't stop it. It's too late. You went there and we can't go back. You have to live with it for the rest of your life. The thing is, it's the greatest possible comparison. I will now throw a Molotov cocktail at myself.

... another great 'hug some poisonous snakes' line

"The Sports Guy" Hilarious Moment of the Week

Week 4's gem from Bill Simmons, referring to the TN v MIN game:

..."They (TN) have the league's best defense, and if you don't believe me, you will believe me this Sunday after they do everything short of actually having sex with Gus Frerotte."

It's gold Jerry, gold!

"The Sports Guy" Hilarious Moment of the Week

This may become a weekly entry because Bill Simmons "Sports Guy" of ESPN.com's Page 2 cracks me up constantly, but I definitely needed to share this one.

Keep in mind that he is from the Boston area so naturally thinks Peyton Manning is a whiny bitch:

"You better sit down -- I'm about to say something nice about Peyton Manning. I sat in the Martha's Vineyard airport watching him steal that Minnesota game with a bum knee and a ravaged offensive line -- after unleashing a Hall of Fame Manning Face in the first half, no less -- and the thing that stood out was how, after a certain point, when Minny kept blowing chances to blow that game wide open, it became patently clear that Manning was going to make the Vikings pay, no matter how grim things looked. Now that, my friends, is a great player. I now will wash my eyes out with paprika."

... I haven't laughed so hard since Homer Simpson's "Yes Marge I will be nice to them, and then I will hug some snakes. Yes - I will hug and kiss some poisonous snakes!"

EDIT: OK, I should have finished the article, 'cause here's another one:

"...I worked in a restaurant once upon a time -- you can't tell me you "don't know where the remote is" when we both know you are just more interested in texting your friends. By the way, that was me who went into the bathroom and peed all over the toilet seat."