"Yoo know in Olaska, mavrick is a term and olso, you betcha *wink*, olso Irak is bad... "
Pretty much what I got out of Sarah Palin last week.
"Eh heh, my friends, heh... Obama wants to raise your taxes, my friends. Well not yours, but mine. Heh. Well not mine, eh heh, but my wife's. Well my 2nd wife, since I left my 1st wife in abject poverty after a car accident left her less physically attractive. And how 'bout Governor Palin's boobs, my friends? eh? eh? Arent they magnificient? eh?"
Pretty much what I think of McCain.
Here's what I think about football:
OAK (+7.5) @ NO: You know people talk about the Saints offense, and after watching them closely last night my opinion is this.... Brees is awesome, the playcalling is aggressive, but everything is sink-or-swim. They might turn the ball over 4 times, go three-and-out for an entire quarter, and then get on a roll and hang 30 points on you. Reminds me a little of the old Martz Rams. Run-first teams with patient defenses will beat them. But Oakland won't.
Madcapping: oak9 - NO 30
BAL (+4.5) @ IND: You just know The Ravens win this game, don't you? I'm getting that feeling that the Colts are just a shell of themselves. Manning misses the offseason, Harrison missed most of last year and now has felony charges to deal with (wasn't he supposed to be one of 'the good guys'?), the O-line is struggling, Bob Sanders is injured (shocker!).... and maybe Dungy's Cover 2 has been around too long. The Ravens won't win too many games, but leave a lot of corpses behind whenever they play.
Madcapping: bal 17 - IND 16
CIN (+6) @ NYJ: Maaaaaan, I was hoping Cincy might get some respect this week after freaking the hell out of Dallas Sunday... so I could bet against them of course. Favre might throuw for 7 touchdowns this week, or he might throw 7 picks. Stay clear of this game, my friends, eh heh.
Madcapping: cin 21 - NYJ 23
CAR (+1) @ TB: CAR is my abusive boyfriend. Everytime they win a game, I forget how they fucked me over, and bet on them again, only to get slapped around. TB has been more competitive than I figured they would be, so this game has me all sorts of messed up.
Madcapping: car 24 - TB 20
DET (+13) @ MIN: Big spreads have not been kind to the favorites this year, but do you really want to put money on DET? I don't.
Madcapping: det 13 - MIN 23
CHI (-3) @ ATL: This is a really interesting game to me, and one that would have sounded incredibly boring in August. ATL has an excitement about them and I find myself cheering for them when I'm not paying attention. CHI seems to have remembered how to play defense, and finally got their RB in rookie Forte. Common wisdom will be to say rookie Matt Ryan won't be able to perform against the tough CHI defense... I'm hoping Ryan proves them wrong, but I wouldn't bet on it.
Madcapping: chi 18 - ATL 17
MIA (+3) @ HOU: Guys! and Gals! *wink* HOU is 0-4, MIA just beat (badly) NE and SD to go 2-2. Nobody seems to have an answer to the 'Wildcat Offense' and.... MIA is the 'dog? whaaa? Bet the house on the moneyline and.... wait! I see what they are doing here. They WANT me to bet on MIA those Vegas bastards. They know that HOU is better than their record, losing freakishly last week to 3 turnovers in 4 minutes to the favored Colts, losing in Weeks 1-4 to PIT, JAX and TN. The Wildcat offense won't be effective anymore, since they can gameplan for it... oh those sneaky bastards! Bet the house on Houston! yeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaah!
Madcapping: mia 13 - HOU 24
STL (+13.5) @ WAS: WAS just took down DAL and PHI in consecutive road weeks. Damn impressive, and now they have the shitty Rams at home. I'm guessing their heads aren't gonna be completely in this one... what the pundits like to call a 'trap game'. I don't think WAS loses, but I wouldn't bet on them to cover the spread.
Madcapping: stl 13 - WAS 19
JAX (+3.5) @ DEN: Does anybody else feel like DEN plays JAX or TB every week? Just me? ok. So after recommending JAX last week, then (correctly) chickening out, JAX got upset by PIT. DEN's at home and their Defense showed up last week, so I like them. But there's that nasty 3.5 spread. Winning by a field goal still loses - it may be worth buying a half point from your bookie.
Madcapping: jax 19 - Den 22
PHI (-5) @ SF: Philly is 2-3. They have lost to three tough defenses in CHI, WAS and DAL. Just a gut feeling here, but I think they will be out for blood this week and annhilate the 49ers. I still like JTO, but PHI's defense is built to take advantage of Pass-First teams.
Madcapping: phi 40 - SF 20
DAL (-5) @ ARI: Dallas favored by less than a touchdown! Very tempting pick, here. I don't trust the Cards to win back-to-back games, and they get beat deep by teams that have the firepowre to exploit it (see Brett Favre 6 TD Passes two weeks ago). Big game for TO and Witten, methinks.
Madcapping: dal 35 - ARI 6
GB (+2) @ SEA: Rodger's shoulder injury concens me, but he was throwing deep last week so I suppose I should let it go. They lost last week to ATL, but for some reason I don't care. I feel like it was just meant to be for some reason. GB needs this win to get back to .500 ad SEA has not shown one thing this season as to why they can be counted on to win a game. Plus Vegas is giving the gambling world 2 points to play with.
Madcapping: gb 14 - SEA 12
NE (+5.5) @ SD: At first I really wanted to take the points on this game. NE seemed to figure out how to play ball again last week, and SD lost (again) to MIA. Then I realized why NE is 3-1: KC, NYJ, SF. Not exactly murderers row, there. SD lost to CAR, DEN (partly screwed by Ed Hochuli), and the same MIA "Wildcats" that beat NE. SD is 2-3, needs this game badly and is at home. I think their motivation is going to be very high and I think they win this game. Very sad for me to say this as a Pats fan (especially because I'll be at the game - woot!).
Madcapping: ne 12 - SD 20
NYG (-9) @ CLE: Man the Giants look good. Great line play, great deep passing, great defense, not a lot of mistakes. So of course this will be the upset of the week. I'm just not ballsy enough to call it.
nyg 30 - CLE 10